This is why clients never take your advice

magic. Nice to be with you, Michael.

Yeah. Well, having worked with a lot of people in education, in industry, and in business, I realized that really what a leader thinks and feels and the actions they take as a result has a tremendous impact on the lives of other people. being in academia was a little bit too far removed from having that impact. So I resigned from a deanship which many people thought was crazy and I set up this consulting business and the purpose of this is to work with leaders and enable them first to understand themselves because unless they do that, we run tremendous risks when self-awareness is low and it's surprisingly low among many people who wield a lot of power. So the purpose of ICTN was really to work with leaders because I believe if you look around worldwide, we suffer from an incredible bankruptcy of leadership, whether people want to face it or not. And those leaders make decisions that impact the lives of thousands, hundreds, millions, billions of people. So when there is no recognition of the importance of that, not only on the responsibility of the leader, but the responsibility of the followers of that leader as well. So that motivated me to look very deeply into this topic. What does what happens in that black box out there? And Why do the patterns keep repeating themselves? If people read history, it's almost like reading the news. You change the dates, you change the names, and we're current. The technology and the tools may change, but the behavior, the human behavior has remained incredibly consistent.

Okay, obsolescence. And I will explain what that means. Your core identity is pretty consistent. And that is what people will fight for. That's what people will die for. That's what people will work for to defend their identity. And your identity is essentially who you think you are. in every way. So our identity includes at least three major components. One component of identity is kind of like a self-ideal. Who do you think you would like to be? But many people never, never achieve that. What they do is they lower their standard and say, well, you know, let me look at my self-image, that's who they think they are. You know, you need to be realistic and that's the word that they use to justify lowering a standard from the aspiration of being this ideal that they thought they could be and they settle for something much less, which is what they call their self-image. know, who am I as a man or a woman? friend or a parent or whatever relationship we have to have but at the very core of that the driving force of that is what you call self-esteem and that is what you think of yourself do you deserve do you believe you deserve to succeed and that is like sort of the core reactor you know the way the way I like to explain that in an analogy is your self-ideal is that big beautiful red Ferrari, you know, sitting in the garage latest model. And that's your self-ideal and your self-image is the engine in that car. Now, even though the engine may be fantastically powerful, if the core, if that self-esteem is not okay. That's the fuel. That's the fuel of motivation. So you can look good. You can think about yourself as being fantastic. But unless there's fuel in that engine, it stays in the garage. It never gets out. It never fulfills what it could be. And so understanding what your identity is and what your motivations are and what it is that you're willing to put out that extra energy for you never become who you were meant to be. So identity is a very big deal. Skills can be learned and techniques can be learned. With skills, it means you need to keep up to date. But why did I say obsolete? Look at typing, know, just using it. People, maybe 50 years ago were typing. Today everybody has to type as an integral part of their job. If you use a laptop or a computer, you're typing. You have to do it because that has in a way replaced handwriting. So you need to keep up with that. And techniques also change, but the fundamentals of thinking, learning to think. learning to learn, learning to evaluate, learning to analyze our foundational skills that we need more than ever. Because as long as you can learn, it doesn't matter what techniques, what skills come up, you can keep up to date by acquiring those. Now, your identity plays a very important part because you can like something very much. doesn't mean that you can do it. and you can do something really well but not like it. And that the connection between that and your personality is what makes capabilities sustainable or not. People will not last for very long in a job they dislike even though they can do it well. Sort of after 18 months they've had enough. So yeah, it's important to have your skills, techniques, capabilities aligned with who you are to make them sustainable.

Well, nobody thinks they're wrong, even though they might say that. That's just something they're saying. And the first step is to get away from a judgment of good, bad, right, wrong. Because the minute you go there, you've lost the game because you have left out a whole lot of nuances. So the first step... is why don't we get to know you and why don't you get to know you in depth? And the first journey I take any leader on is called a personal odyssey. Now what does that mean? It means you need to know what your values are. And values don't necessarily have to be something good, values can be bad. But they're your values. In other words, what do you value so much? that you are willing to do whatever it takes because that's your unconscious decision making blueprint. So you've got to know what those are and they're pretty consistent. You don't change them. What changes is the way you satisfy them. If somebody believes that power is extremely important to them or money or kindness or honesty, it's the way they satisfy that. That can change, but the need for that fundamental basic value is pretty consistent and that's why our identity is consistent. And then you look at what your needs are. Human needs are different from the values. The needs are things like certainty or variety. Do you want adventure? Are you a risk taker? Are you someone who wants to have a predictable environment when you're in control? Now those two things are diametrically opposed. So if you're somebody who's more on the certainty side, you're going to live a very conservative life. You're not going to take many risks. You're going to do... what you are advised to do, not necessarily by what you want, but what you think is safe. And so you're going to have this safe, predictable life. Whereas if you are someone who's more, if you're looking for variety and you're a risk taker, you're going to be somebody who's going to try different things. You may want to be a racing car driver. You may want to go on an adventure. You may want, if you like nature, you may want to be somebody who goes to exotic places and explores animals and trees and finds out. There isn't a recipe. The recipe is already in your DNA. Who are you? And what it is that you can do sustainably because you like it. are willing to put the energy in to become really skilled at it. You enjoy it. And therefore, when you're doing it, you're in a state known as flow, which means it doesn't feel like work. Many of us sadly never get there. But your personal, honestly, that deep dive, I use diagnostic tools. I use deep conversations. I challenge people's fundamental assumptions. by asking them what it is that you're really looking for. Some people might be coming just to look for sympathy, shoulder to cry on. That's not what a good strategic intervention coach does. What they do is they challenge the assumptions and helps them wake up to who they are and what are the patterns that they use to defend themselves from having to make difficult decisions. So... It's a long journey. We all have patterns that kind of lock us in. And we're so clever as human beings that we find explanations, very plausible explanations for not doing what we should do and for doing what we shouldn't do.

It's riskier. And the reason that it's riskier is that very often people have to understand coaches, consultants, experts have to understand that when they are brought in, they're not necessarily brought in to help. They're brought in to confirm. and to support what someone may have already decided. I can tell you there are very, very few people in this world who are willing to take the risk of speaking truth to power because it's risky. And you need to understand when you are brought into such a relationship, what is it that the person who brought you in, who has much more power than you, what did they bring you in for? Did they bring you in as a pair of hands to do something that they want to do and they want you to do it and take the risk and then they can say, but this is what the expert said. So basically you're being used. to create a kind of buffer between them and the public that they serve. And then you can be the one to be blamed if it doesn't work. So the second kind of relationship could be that you are there as the scapegoat. And what that means is something has gone wrong and they want to fix it and they don't want to carry any responsibility for that. So one, you're just functioning doing what they ask you to do. Write the speech. say this, this is what we want the public to know. The other one is you take the responsibility, not just the execution, but now you take the responsibility of claiming as an expert that this is what should happen and that the third relationship, which is a very rare one, is that you're brought into a true partnership. where that leader is willing to listen to you in private, willing to take the, to exchange ideas, to understand, to listen, and think deeply and reflect on what is being said and what kind of legacy they want to leave. those are in a very small minority. and you as a consultant or a strategic intervention coach or whichever classification you may have, have to decide if that's a relationship you want to be in. And many times it's a relationship you may want to walk away from because you don't, unless they are willing, unless you're in a real partnership. you must be willing to compromise or you must be willing to do what is required, you must be willing to exchange whatever currency of exchange is in operation in that relationship. And that goes down to your own values and your own personal integrity and credibility because you can't buy that back. Even if people don't recognize right now that something is wrong, somewhere, somehow somebody records it. And several years later, it's disclosed, it's written, it's documented somewhere. Nothing disappears. And you know, Nicholas, my formula for great leadership, competence, courage, and compassion is not just an accidental alliteration that I came up with. It's something that I've experienced and I believe is absolutely crucial. I've been in some very, very risky situations. I've had guns pointed at me. I have been at risk of losing my life. And when you are in situations like that, you certainly pay attention to what's happening around you because otherwise you don't survive. But competence means you need to really know what you're doing. You need to be someone who's constantly learning, building your capabilities so you're always relevant and you're always adding value that's not easily replaceable. It's not because of the relationship, but because of what you can do. People are fickle, which means today they like you, tomorrow they don't like you. And so your competence is something that is extremely valuable and that's something that's an ongoing project. It doesn't have a beginning and an end. It doesn't stop. It can't stop because the environment is dynamic. Technology is dynamic. You need to keep up. The second one is courage. And you can't separate it from competence because even if you know what's right and what should be done, what must be done, if you don't have the guts to do it, You're just another dispensable person. And the third piece is not only knowing what you're doing and having the courage to do it and having the technique to do it and survive. The third piece is compassion. You need to remember first that you're human and not invincible. And second, you need to see other people as human because the minute you lose that capacity, To see humans and to recognize the humanity in the world, you lose a part of your, whatever you want to define as a soul, you lose a part of what makes you truly human and powerful. And then you're just a little robot waiting for somebody to push the button of approval or disapproval and you're at their mercy. So courage. is essential, it's the pivot that holds it together, keeps you willing to take the risk of learning and failing, but trying again. And having the courage also to be compassionate to other people, to recognize your limitations and the limitations of others. And I think that's what makes us complete as leaders. So.

There is a process of being able to interact with leaders, to touch their lives in such a way that we have a better quality of leader, a better definition of what a leader is. Anybody is a leader. Everybody can be a leader. In my book, Decisions That Matter, I talk about leadership starts at birth, maybe even before, because what you see people doing around you. the definition of leadership that you hear, which is a lot of times a load of rubbish, because it's not leadership, it's bossing, it's power, it's brutality, it's coercion. It's called leadership, it's not. Leadership is the ability to have people willingly, willingly and happily following your lead, your example. And that can be something that you see in a kindergarten class when you see a child who is comfortable enough with themselves to do things and the other children are attracted to that person working with them, supporting them, helping them. That's something that has to be cultivated if we want a better world. Brutality is always easy. We can go to the jungle for that. Become a baboon. Not hard. So yes, I would like to leave a better quality of leadership, better life, better understanding.

I would like them to learn to listen at a depth that's unprecedented. And listening is with your eyes being an observer. Listening comes through our eyes, primarily not through our ears. Observe, observe what's being done because that's where the truth is. Allow yourself. to be open to the environment, which means to pick up sensorially with your gut and with your heart, because those are sensory areas in our body where we can pick up vibrations from the environment, understand what's happening around you, because without that, you are just a one-way street with a very limited message that keeps repeating because you haven't looked at yourself. and you haven't looked at the power you could have if you actually listened and understood and took better quality decisions. We can all be better leaders.

They can reach me at ictn.com. That's my website. They can reach me on my LinkedIn. Fania Wiedomski is the handle, one word, on LinkedIn. I have a blog post. I have a sub stack. I have Instagram. I can share those social media handles with you. And I have a program coming up on the 17th and 18th of September called The Cost of Poor Judgment and Bad Decisions. And I'm talking about, using airline accidents to show how in the cockpit of a plane, which is a microcosm of what's happening, you can have to understand everything that we do wrong because we don't even believe our eyes when we're so arrogant. We don't listen to other people and that's exactly what it's about. The pilot doesn't listen to the co-pilot. The pilot looks at the instruments which are incorrect and refuses to believe that the instruments are showing the truth and hundreds of people lost their lives in those accidents and that's what we do over and over. Hubris.

You're welcome. I hope you have great success with your podcasts and your efforts, whatever you're trying to do. And I would love to help you succeed in any way. I hope this helps.